Caveat and Anecdotes

First, let me say, I've put off writing this latest tiny letter despite having ample material. I've realized my trepidation is due to a pressure I feel to say true things. And you guys, I can't even form a decent sentence most of the time. If I have to only write true things I'll never be able to write again. My grasp on truth is fleeting at best. So let this email serve as my caveat. I make no claim to being a soothsayer. What I do, and frequently, is try to say a thing boldly and confidently enough to convince myself it's possible there is some truth in it. Occasionally this works in the short term, but sooner or later I am floundering again. So, let us flounder...

A few anecdotes that fall somewhere on or eat up entirely the spectrum between true and false:

1) My best friend Marlon was here for his 30th birthday and why I failed to mention this until now is further evidence that truthful representations of my experience are not likely. Marlon was the original reason for this trip! We've been planning to go to Berlin since before sweet little Marlon even had a U.S. passport. I found a cheap ticket here and purchased it. And because it seemed cheaper to be on semi-permanent vacation than pay rent in San Francisco, I decided I'd stay awhile. 

For his actual birthday Marlon and I went to Amsterdam where things were just very perfect from start to finish.

Now Marlon is in Paris and I'm back in Berlin. Before Europe returns him he will perform in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He will then go back to Brooklyn where he will accept a much deserved promotion. He is so good at being 30. I will take lessons from him.

2) On my second night alone in Berlin I went on a self-created pub crawl in a hip area of town. I ended up at a bar that just happened to be hosting a Reddit meet-up, and don't worry, I also have no idea what that is. The consequence, though, was that just as I reached the optimum amount of social lubrication I was among many other expatriates who wanted to chat. So I did that and I realized two things. First, there are going to be people I like and want to know anywhere that I go. Second, every single person I met was in tech somehow. So you can leave San Francisco, but can you? Really?

3) Yesterday I met my sweet German family. Verena and Konstantin are both journalists, although Verena also has her first novel coming out on Friday. Salome is 6 in a few weeks. She is confident and savvy and joyful. Penelope, called Nele for short, is nearly 3 and she is very funny, but you can't laugh when she does funny things because it upsets her. She likes to talk to me but I can hardly understand her so she asks her parents (in German) "Why does she not talk with us and why does she always say "What?") So there you have it. My German is not even as good as a 2 year old's. Felicia is 3.5 months and is big and smiley. Right now she is in a fair amount of pain because of a muscular imbalance. We couldn't find the english word for it, but it is something that starts in the womb that causes one half of the body to be much stronger than the other. This causes lots of tension in her muscles and makes it so that she wants to always be carried. Sleeping is really difficult for her. She will do baby physical therapy exercises and receive homeopathic treatments of some kind and they suspect she will be fully recovered in a couple months. Despite all this, I must say she has quite a sweet disposition.

4) When I first arrived to my new apartment I was alone and trying to exit the foyer into the courtyard. I only have one key to keep track of, so locking and unlocking should be fairly straight forward. Despite this I was really struggling getting this door open and as time went on I wondered what I would do if there was a fire or some other sort of emergency that demanded a swift exit. In a moment of frustration I yanked on the door and it came open. 

The door wasn't locked. It was just heavy. 

Let's not turn this into gospel or anything, okay?

XOXO,

Candice